nyota_uhura24 | [SOL! Verse - I Heard It Through The Grapevine]

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[SOL! Verse - I Heard It Through The Grapevine]

Finally it was Monday. Nyota usually went several days without seeing Jim during the week, but the wait between Saturday and Monday always felt like forever. Thankfully her father had mostly recovered from his illness and told her he didn't mind if she kept her weekly dinner date with “Anna.” She felt a little twinge of guilt every time someone used the name she'd invented to cover for her relationship with Jim, but as always she ignored it. She deserved her happiness.

Besides, she really needed to be out of the house tonight. Trent and his mother were coming over for dinner, and she'd been avoiding him since Saturday night, which was... Just what in the world was that? He usually managed the diner on weekdays, but because her father was ill he came in on Saturday night. After closing they found themselves alone in the kitchen, and while she was talking to him about Jim's music he tried to kiss her. She panicked and turned her head away, downright nauseated by the idea of anyone but Jim kissing or touching her. She knew about her father's hopes, of course, but had never known that Trent wanted any part in them. He apologized profusely when she told him how very improper it was, and she fled before he could say anything more.

She had been hoping to steal a few moments with Jim that night, but perhaps it was for the best that he was already gone when she left the kitchen. There could never be anyone in her heart but Jim, but she knew she'd have to reconsider her assumption that Trent opposed their marriage. But surely... surely he didn't actually want to marry her? They'd been close friends for so long that she thought of him as a cousin, almost a sibling. Maybe he was just trying to please their parents. She knew on some level that she'd have to figure it out eventually, but for now she just wanted to spend time with the man she loved. Smiling a little to herself and putting Trent far from her mind, she walked into Jim's building and took the elevator to the top floor, where she knocked quietly on the door.

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The earlier feelings of betrayal still lingered even if she'd explained herself and stayed with him. It had hurt so much to think that he was nothing more than a pleasurable distraction for her, and a part of him stubbornly refused to forgive her and believe that she really was his. But the part of him that needed her, that needed to believe her and trust that she wasn't deceiving him was stronger and took comfort in the way she pressed herself as closely against him as she could.

"I hope that's true," he whispered, mostly to himself, then fell silent for a while. Despite his exhaustion, he was still restless, still struggling to get his feet back under him and regain his equilibrium. It would be so easy to coax her into something sexual, so easy to chase away all his turbulent emotions with mindless pleasure, but it wouldn't be fair to either of them. And anyway, he doubted he could distance himself emotionally from something like that right now, and he wasn't ready to let himself be that exposed to her again. Not just yet. Shifting on the bed, he tilted her face so he could press his lips tenderly to hers in a slow kiss that gradually deepened. "I love you, Nyota. I love you, and I want to be the only one who ever gets to kiss and touch you like this."

She just squeezed his hand when he said he hoped her words were true. They drifted into silence, but she couldn't quite relax and in spite of feeling completely drained didn't think she could sleep. He didn't seem relaxed either. She knew she should have talked to him about the situation sooner. She should have resolved the situation sooner, but all she could do now was be relieved and grateful that he was giving her another chance. That and speak to Trent and her father as soon as possible.

She felt him shift behind her and looked up at him as he tilted her face. The tender kiss instantly melted some of the tension inside her, and as it deepened her heart beat a little faster. She kissed him back with all her limited experience and limitless love for him. His words made her shift to turn towards him, heart constricting in her chest. "You are," she promised. "I love you, Jim. No one will ever kiss or touch me but you. I would have told you if I hadn't been trying to fool myself into thinking that it wasn't an issue, that I couldn't really be involved in something I'd never agreed to, but I've never considered letting anyone touch me but you."

When she started to explain again, he placed a gentle finger on her lips, silencing her. "Please... No more talk about that. Not now." It still hurt too much to even think about, there was still too much residual anger pent up inside him to hear her reasoning for not coming clean about the nature of her relationship with Trent.

Laying his hand on her heart, he looked down at it, watched the difference in their skin tones, and wondered how something that was so beautiful in his eyes could ever be the cause of so much hate. "If I thought I could get away with it, I'd marry you in a heartbeat, you know..." he whispered quietly, eyes still focused on his hand. "I'd get a better job, one that paid enough to be able to provide for you, I'd get you a nice little house somewhere with enough rooms to raise a family. I'd take good care of you. Keep you safe. We'd have a nice wedding where your father walked you up the aisle, and later..." Glancing up at her, a bit of his usual, mischievous humor found its way into his eyes. "Later, I'd make love to you until dawn. It'd be the best wedding night ever. And you'd be mine. For the rest of my life, you'd be mine, and I'd never have to worry about anyone stealing you away from me."

She wanted to give some sort of explanation as to why she hadn't said anything, but the words died on her lips when he silenced her, and she nodded, trying to contain her guilt.

The hand over her heart made it beat a little faster, and though he was looking down at his hand she watched his face as he spoke words that knocked the breath out of her. Joy filled her when he described dreams that so perfectly matched hers, but hearing him doubt that she was really his kept the smile from her face. Still, she couldn't keep the wonder out of her eyes or the slight pink tinge off her cheeks. She glanced down to look at the place where they touched, to the one difference that would keep her father from giving them his blessing. "You wish you could marry me?" she whispered, eyes flickering back up to meet his. "You don't know how many times I've wished that, how badly I want to be your wife... But Jim, I'm already yours. No one could ever steal me away. Not ever." Her eyes stayed on his as she spoke, trying to convey her sincerity and searching for signs as to whether or not he believed her.

A slightly shy smile appeared on his face when she asked if he really wanted to marry her. "Yeah," he nodded, ignoring the gathering moisture in his eyes when he looked at her. It was just the draft from the windows. He really should get that fixed soon. "I'm not really the marrying kind, but I do. I want to marry you and share my life with you and have little coffee and cream colored babies with you."

The fantasy of all that swam in his head, and that probably went a long way towards making him trust what she was saying to him. "The only thing that's stopping me is all the hate they'd have in their life because they'd happen to be ours. All the names they'd be called... It's not fair to them, they wouldn't have a choice."

An idea suddenly struck him, and he turned around to rummage through the drawer of his nightstand. Not finding what he was looking for, he upended it over the bed, digging through plectrums, condoms, his old dog tags and an assortment of other paraphernalia. He grinned triumphantly when he found what he was looking for, then turned back to her and put the simple gold band in her hand. "It was my brother's. Maybe we can't be married officially, but would you do it unofficially? Right now? You can wear it in a chain around your neck or something so no one will notice, but we'll know that in every way that counts, we're married. Fuck what the rest of the world knows if we know, right?"

She blinked back the tears that flooded her eyes when he said he wanted to marry her and have children with her. She had always wanted to give her kids a brighter world and a better life than she'd had, but he was right that any children of theirs would face a world of prejudice. Her heart broke and a tear trickled from the corner of her eye. "I want to marry you, Jim. I want to have your children. I know how little acceptance they'd find, but you'd be the most wonderful father..." She couldn't quite bring herself to agree that it was a bad idea, not when she wanted it so badly.

When he turned away she shifted to face him completely and watched curiously as he dug around in the drawer. Then he placed something in her hand, and her eyes widened when she saw what it was. Even if she'd dreamed of marrying him in front of an alter with her family there beside her, it didn't matter as long as they were each others. "Yes," she said breathlessly, a few happy tears trickling down her cheeks. "God, yes. I love you so much, and no matter what the world thinks I want to be with you. Forever. I'll always keep it with me, and even if I can't always wear it on my finger, I can now, right?" She slid it onto her finger almost reverently, knowing how much he must treasure his brother's ring, and stared down at it with eyes alight with happiness. "It's perfect."

Something shifted inside him at the sight of her happy tears, and the reverence with which she put on the ring. It was hopelessly big for her finger, but she didn't seem to notice. It felt like everything snapped into place when she agreed to marry him right then and there, and he fought to keep the moisture in his own eyes at bay. "I love you so so much, Nyota. I'm sorry you have to settle for this instead of the wedding you deserve. But at least we get each other this way."

Chuckling to himself, he kissed her passionately, pulling her into his arms to hold her to him. "You're what's perfect. It's probably a good thing you can't wear the ring, it's way too big for you. You're welcome to wear it now, but it'll fall off and get lost in the mattress." Another heartfelt kiss, and he reached out for his old dog tags, opening the chain to slip the ring onto it and put it around her neck. "There. Now there's no doubt about who gave you the ring, about who your husband is. You can tuck the tags in your bra or something, keep it from making noise with the ring on there, maybe take the silencers off." Okay, so maybe he was rambling just a little bit. He just didn't really know what else to do with everything he felt at that moment, with how happy she'd made him at the end of a day that had been anything but. Making himself shut up for a moment, he took both her hands in his and kissed the backs of them gently. "I promise to never stop loving you, and I promise to be yours until the day I die. I love you more than anything, Nyota."

She shook her head fervently when he said it wasn't the wedding she deserved. "As long as I have you I'm happy," she replied, melting into his embrace and returning the passionate kiss. Her heart felt as if it was about to burst from happiness. It might not be a marriage in the eyes of anyone but the two of them, but no one else mattered. From this day forward she would be a married woman. Mrs. Kirk.

"It's not too big," she protested, though it clearly was. "And nothing will ever be as perfect as you." It was probably for the best that she wear it on a chain so as not to lose it. As he fastened it she held her hair out of the way and then took the tags and the ring between her fingers to look at them. The happiness in his voice was such a wonderful contrast to the anger and sadness of earlier. "These are your military tags," she said softly, feeling honored that he was giving them to her. "I'll never take these off." The ring and the tags would stay around her neck always. Her eyes met his as he took her hands and kissed them, heart swelling with joy at his promises and declarations of love. "And I promise to always love you, every moment of every day for all of my life. I promise to stand by you and to never stop being yours no matter what challenges we face. I love you with everything that I am, Jim, and I always will."

As difficult as it was for him to reign in his happiness, this moment was much too significant and important to not enjoy every second of it. So he calmed himself so he could listen seriously to every word she spoke, soaking up the meaningful words and letting them heal the hurts he'd felt so keenly earlier in the day. But they were married now. Nothing like that could ever come between them again. He wouldn't let it.

He cleared his throat once, aiming to keep his voice relatively steady, though he couldn't wipe the brilliant grin from his face even if he'd tried when he quietly gave her hands a little squeeze. "I now pronounce us husband and wife. I may kiss the bride, yes?"

Not waiting for her answer, he pushed forward, taking her face in his hands again to kiss her with every bit of love and joy he felt. His forward momentum meant that they ended up mostly horizontal, but hey, they were married now. He was allowed to get his wife (his wife! How weird was that?!) horizontal any time he damned well pleased. "Hi, Mrs. Kirk..."

The look in his eyes soothed her lingering guilt and sadness over the pain she'd caused him. Now there could be absolutely no doubt about who she belonged with. Come hell or high water, nothing and no one would ever be able to pry them apart - not a world that disapproved, not even her family.

When he pronounced them husband and wife her heart fluttered happily, a few more joyful tears slipping from her eyes. It was nothing like the wedding she'd always imagined, but it was completely and utterly perfect.

The moment his lips met hers she was kissing him back, gasping slightly into his mouth when she found herself lying on her back, but then she was nibbling at his lips and gliding a hand through his hair. When he addressed her as Mrs. Kirk she let out a happy laugh and kissed him again. "Hi, Mr. Kirk..." For her whole life she'd dreamed about marrying someone she really loved, but this was so much better than all her daydreams.

For his part, Jim had never really considered getting married. It just hadn't been something he saw in his own future. Sure, he'd had a moment of weakness at Sam's wedding where he'd wondered if he'd ever meet someone he loved enough to want to spend the rest of his life with. But until he'd met Nyota, it had always been a hypothetical maybe for him.

And here he was now. Married for all intents and purposes with his blushing bride laughing sweetly under him and nibbling on his lips. In this very moment, life was perfect, and he only spared a second's thought to hope Sam had gotten to feel this happy with Aurelan on their wedding night.

Which brought another, far more interesting and pleasing thought to his mind. One that made him grin wolfishly at her. "You know, Mrs. Kirk. It's just occurred to your beloved husband that there is one thing off the list he mentioned earlier that is within his powers to give you..."

She couldn't remember ever being this happy. Every time she noticed the cool metal of the chain around her neck she couldn't help but let out another little joyous laugh. It was impossible to keep from smiling against his lips as she kissed him, impossible to keep from gently caressing his cheek with her fingertips. Even if they were only kissing at the moment, it was enough to make her heart race.

When the meaning behind his words clicked she immediately felt her cheeks redden. "You mean..." She swallowed hard, stomach twisting with desire and a little hint of nervousness. "This is our wedding night, my dear husband," she whispered, voice not entirely even.

Her father had made her promise not to have sex until she was married, but now she was married. The fact that no one else knew didn't make it any less legitimate. Besides, she loved him. There were lingering concerns, but there was no question about wanting to be with him.

Observing the different emotions that flitted across her face when she cottoned on to his meaning, he was more than a little relieved to see that although she blushed, there was no fear there. Nervousness, perhaps, but that was understandable, as was her blushing.

"Uh-huh," he smiled at her, then kissed the tip of her nose. "And I recall promising you to make love to you until dawn. I wouldn't want to break my first promise to my wife on her wedding night."

He was very careful to keep his tone light and teasing enough so she'd still feel comfortable objecting if she didn't feel quite ready for it yet. But he fervently hoped she was, that they got to share that experience together and consummate their marriage. "I'll go slow, I promise."

Even though she'd already guessed his meaning, hearing him say it aloud made her mouth go dry and her blush deepen. She was suddenly very acutely aware of their nudity, and she fought down her shyness. For a moment she just nodded almost imperceptibly as she tried to find a steady voice to reply with. But even though the nerves lingered she was as ready as she would ever be, and she knew Jim would make it as wonderful as it could possibly be. Besides, it felt right to do this now, on their wedding night. "Okay," she whispered, a small smile on her face. "I'm a little nervous, but I want you to make love to me, Jim. You said that there's a way to make sure I won't get pregnant?" She may want children with him more than almost anything, but that clearly wasn't an option right now.

His stomach did a giddy little flip when he saw her barely there nod, the smile on his face widening impossibly. It wasn't just about sex, or about being with her anymore, it was about promising each other that they'd never do this with anyone else. And maybe, just maybe, there was a little part of him that would have been sorely disappointed if she'd turned him down on his wedding night, even if they hadn't had a proper wedding. "There's nothing I'd rather do, love. Nothing," he whispered in reply, then nodded at her question and reached behind him blindly to find the pile of stuff from his drawer on the bed. "There is." His hand found what it was looking for, and he held up the condom in front of her face. "This? Is the answer to all our prayers for temporary infertility." Forestalling the questions he knew by now that she'd ask, he hoped to avoid any embarrassment for them both with a brief explanation. "It goes on me before I go in you, and it keeps my little swimmers from ever getting near your egg. Used correctly, it's pretty much foolproof. And no, I'm not going to explain the reproductive process to you in detail. Not on my wedding night."

The smile on his face made her heart skip a beat, and she nodded a little less tentatively. Every time he touched her it felt amazing, but this was about so much more than physical pleasure. This was about love and about the promise that they would love only each other as long as they lived. Her smile widened when he said there was nothing he'd rather do. She watched curiously as he produced a small package from the desk drawer contents. The explanation made sense, and he wouldn't say it worked if it didn't. "So that goes on your... Okay. I feel like someone should have told me about this earlier," she replied, relieved that her voice was only a little uneven. There was a small flare of curiosity, a desire to know more about the details of a process that it was thought improper to explain in high schools, but now wasn't the time for that. Later she would wonder more about the fact that no one had explained this option; she was grateful she had Jim to teach her. Her only remaining concern was the fact that he was so... big. It felt incredible when he touched between her legs, but the idea of that inside of her remained slightly daunting. "Is it going to fit?" she whispered, voice decidedly less even.

Once more, and to his great relief, she seemed to be on board with the idea of what a normal wedding night entailed. Shy and a little uncertain as to the act itself, but not as much as she had been, and obviously not enough to stand in the way of things. "It does, yes. And I agree, someone should have told you about these things. Doesn't quite seem right to me that men have all the knowledge when women have to live with the consequences of being uninformed."

Putting the condom away for now, he caressed her face gently and hopefully soothingly with his fingertips to assuage the worst of her nerves. His efforts to calm her were ruined, however, at her next question. The amused snort escaped before he could stop it, but he had the good grace to duck his head to hide his smile, kissing her neck until he could control the urge to laugh. Giving her an amused, but loving look, the grin on his face positively wicked, he winked at her. "I love you for asking that, I really do. Yes, it's going to fit just fine. I can't promise it'll be entirely comfortable for you at first, but I'll do my very best to minimize any pain you might feel. I wish there didn't have to be any pain at all, but it's only the first time. After that, it's... Like it was in the bathroom, only better. More intimate."

The touching they had already done went a long way towards making her feel comfortable with this. She loved it when he touched her, and he was always attentive to what she wanted and needed. And even though she hoped it would never be an issue, she knew he would stop if she asked him to. "It isn't right that we aren't taught about our options," she said quietly. It wasn't an issue she wanted to focus on right now, though, because right now she just wanted to enjoy being with Jim on their wedding night.

The way he gently caressed her face eased some of her nervousness, but then he was snorting with amusement at her question. "Hey..." Her breath hitched a little when he kissed her neck, and his expression when he next looked at her sent a little shiver down her spine and made her lips purse in a small pout. Clearly she'd asked another ridiculous question, but she was mollified by the real answer he provided. If she could get past the pain to something even better than what happened in the bathroom, it would be more than worth it. Letting out a slow breath, she tipped her head to press a kiss to his lips. "I don't know why you're so amused, but okay..." She was still a little incredulous about it fitting, but she wanted to be as tangled up with him and connected to him as possible. "I love you."

Prolonging the kiss she gave him, he slowly let it turn more passionate before easing back to smile at her again. "You'll understand later. Not something that can really be explained..." His hand drifted slowly from her face and down to take hold of hers and bring it to his lips so he could press a soft kiss to the pad of each finger. "I love you so much, babe... I always will. If you get nervous, just remember that people have been doing this since the dawn of time."

Still holding on to her hand, he shifted down a bit on the bed to trail a path of kisses over her neck and down her chest. "Remember the first time we danced alone in the diner? I chose that song for a reason, you know..." His lips reached the soft swell of her breasts, and looking up at her, he softly began singing to her, that same song they'd first danced to all those weeks ago. "These arms of miiiine... They are lonely. Lonely and feeling blue... These arms of miiine, they are yearning. Yearning from wanting you. And if yoooou would let them hold you. Oh, how grateful I will be. These arms of miiiine, they are burning. Burning from wanting you..."

She slowly relaxed under his touches and kisses even though her heart was still beating a little too fast. He was clearly trying to make sure she was comfortable and to calm her nerves. "I'm only a little nervous," she insisted. "And you always make everything feel so good, Jim..." She'd come here tonight wanting to talk to him and dance with him, but she'd also hoped that he would touch and kiss her and make her feel those incredible sensations she'd never known before him.

Her eyes stayed glued to him as he shifted downwards, the kisses he planted on her neck and chest sending little tendrils of pleasure curling up her spine. "I remember. My heart was racing the whole time," she whispered, one hand tangling lightly in his hair as she recalled that night when she was already so inexorably drawn to him. She loved the idea of him caring for her even then, of wanting her even then. When he started singing she melted a little, smiling warmly down at him as he wrapped the melody around them. His voice was one of the things she loved most about him. It had the power to immediately touch her heart.

It was comforting to know that everything they'd done so far had been a positive experience for her. Not that he'd been in much doubt, but it was nice to hear it from her. If she was sure it could be good, then it would go a long way towards relaxing her enough for this to be as painless for her as possible. "So do you. It'll be great, I promise."

Smiling at the memory, he continued his slow seduction by nuzzling against her nipple, then kissing all the way around it. "Yeah, mine was, too. I couldn't believe you let me dance with you like that. God, it was such a challenge not to kiss you right then and there." His hand let go of hers to skim lightly down her side to rest on her thigh, his tongue flicking out against her breast. "You have no idea how long, and how much I've wanted you. It's nearly driven me crazy sometimes."

"I know," she replied softly, and she did. Everything was wonderful with Jim. The way he nuzzled against her breast and kissed around the nipple had her sighing happily. "I knew right then that I wanted to dance with you as often as I possibly could... though I probably would have panicked a little if you'd kissed me. Panicked and wished you'd do it again." She squeezed his hand lightly as he released it, acutely aware of his touch as it came to rest on her thigh. The flick of his tongue had her breath catching in her throat. Even though she had no doubts about how much he wanted her she still loved hearing him say it, and knowing how much he'd wanted this even before they were together floored her a little. "Thank you for being patient with me. I... I've wanted you too, even before I really knew what it was I wanted. After you showed me how good it feels I haven't been able to stop thinking about you touching me..."

That it hadn't been more than a scarce few months since he'd first met her was hard to believe. Whenever they were together, whether they were dancing, or talking or in his bed, he felt so much at home. She made something inside him relax and let go. Made him believe that not only was it okay to just be himself, but that who he was when he let go of all the brash confidence and charm he shrouded himself with was really very much okay. "Which is exactly why I didn't. I couldn't risk scaring you off before I'd had a chance to show you a reason to stay."

With his lips continuing their attentions to her breasts and that general area, he made sure that not a millimeter of skin went un-kissed and un-worshiped. But to hear her admit to having thought about that night in his bathroom had him making a decidedly hungry little noise in the back of his throat, the hand on her thigh gripping her a little tighter. "You really need to expound on that some time when I'm not supposed to take this slow. As for now..." Looking up, he met her eyes and pressed a lingering kiss just below her sternum. "Is there anything in particular my wife would like her husband to do for her?"

In the few months they'd known each other he'd completely turned her world on its end. He'd transformed every part of it, had made a world that didn't quite seem like the right fit for her into something beautiful and perfect. When he short-circuited the flickering light during their first dance lesson he made her believe that she too had the power to change her setting. "I already had a reason to stay. I wanted to dance with you forever," she whispered in response, voice growing progressively more uneven as he lavished attention on her breasts. Her eyelashes fluttered and she moaned softly, body arching a little into his touch.

The noise he made did something funny to her stomach, though by now she could recognize the beginnings of arousal. Talking about this was still a little outside her comfort zone, but knowing the effect it had on him made her want to gain confidence with voicing her desire. She smiled down at him as he asked if there was anything she wanted, breath catching when those exquisite blue eyes met hers. "I thought you were going to...?" Her blush deepened. Of course the actual sex wouldn't happen immediately, which was a bit of a relief. "Your wife would like her husband to keep kissing her," she said a little too quickly, and then continued in a whisper. "Will you kiss me... there?"

Pleased that she was beginning to respond to his attentions to her, his hand moved to trace lazy circles on the inside of her thigh. Just to let her get used to its presence there before he actually did anything with it. "Never stop dancing with me, love. Just think of this as a different kind of dance."

Pausing, he shot her a lascivious grin and nipped at the soft skin on her stomach. "A much easier, and much more gratifying one." He very nearly questioned if she'd honestly thought he was just going to go straight to the main event, but decided that she was blushing enough as it was. Well, almost enough. It was impossible for him to resist the temptation to goad her a little when she so timidly asked him if he'd kiss her there. "Where?" he asked innocently, then placed a kiss just above her navel. "Here?" Another kiss, this one slightly lower. "Or maybe here? Where exactly is it you want me to put my mouth, I wonder..."

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