nyota_uhura24 | [For logicandphysick]

I am not overreacting.

*She hadn't said he was, but, well, he is. He's flopped into an armchair, arms folded, positively seething.*

You could have fucking told me.

Saval, look at me and listen to me. I am not dating Spock, all right? And I have no intention of dating Spock. I would've told you if I did.

[Her parent's plans are beside the point.]

Edited 2011-09-10 01:41 (UTC)

*It's only the 'no intention' part that finally gets him to calm down a bit. It's not that he doesn't trust her, and later he'll regret not giving her the benefit of the doubt, it's just that he knows how close their families are. He knows he has absolutely no claim on Spock whatsoever, that he's not even a blip on the radar as far as anyone else in this situation is concerned, and it makes him paranoid. Of course Spock would infinitely prefer Nyota over him. Who wouldn't?*

...I know.

*He looks defeated, all the anger going out of him.*

I just...figured there had to be a reason so many people were talking about it.

[She understands why he's upset, knows that even if he doesn't quite seem apt to admit it that he cares a lot about Spock and wishes things were different between them. There's nothing going on between any of the three of them, so there should never be any reason for raised voices, but it makes sense that he'd be upset given that he obviously thought she was hiding this from him.

And maybe in a sense, she was. She words her explanation very carefully.] There is a reason, Saval, but it's not what you think. You know how close our families are. Our parents wish that we were involved, but we're not and neither of us has any romantic interest in the other.

How do you know he doesn't?

*He believes her about her own feelings, because he knows she wouldn't lie to him. He's just not reassured about anything else, because there are so many factors at play here. Who's to say their parents won't eventually wear them down? Who's to say Spock isn't secretly in love with her and he'll eventually manage to win her over and they'll live happily ever after?

He's being an idiot. He knows that. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to be rational.*

I need to get over this. I'm just driving myself crazy at this point.

Because in spite of everything he's a good friend, and I think I'd know if he had feelings for me. Even if by some bizarre chance he does, nothing is ever going to happen between us.

[She means that sincerely. Maybe she doesn't know everything there is to know about Spock, but she knows him well enough to know that they have no romantic chemistry. They're friends, and that's all.

Smiling sympathetically and a little sadly, she says] Maybe it's time to do something about the way you feel. Then you'll know, one way or the other.

*He nods morosely, willing to trust her word, but her advice just doesn't seem remotely possible. He sighs, rubbing his eyes.*

He barely even talks to me. I mean, I've tried to get closer to him. I don't know what more I could be doing. I don't want to just end up humiliating myself.

He is awfully difficult to get to know [she concedes, pondering for a few moments as she tries to think of something helpful to tell her friend.]

Have you tried inviting him to do something? Maybe a little time alone will make it easier for the two of you to talk... It'll at least help you see if you really enjoy spending time together.

You have no idea how many times I've tried to do that and wimped out at the last minute. I keep wanting to ask him to check out the conjoined-twin exhibit at the science museum with me, but I just picture him staring at me like I have three heads.

*That may possibly be the least romantic idea for a date ever, but they are scientists.*

I don't even know if he likes men. I've never really seen him show interest in anyone at all.

[Saval's date idea may be unorthodox, but it's also adorable, and she can't help smiling fondly.] I bet he would like that a lot, actually.

He definitely doesn't broadcast his feelings, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have them. It's worth a shot, right? The worst that happens is that it doesn't work out.

That's a pretty big worst, though.

I know it's worth a shot. Anything's better than just sitting around feeling sorry for myself, so why the hell not. But I'm going to have to call you for moral support before I do it.

You can always call me. You know that. [She finally sits down on the sofa, feeling some of the tension drain out of her. For a moment there she was truly afraid she'd lost a friend.]

This is probably going to sound strange, but I'm actually a little jealous of you. I wish I felt that way about... someone.

*He honestly has a hard time comprehending that, because he can't remember what it's like not to feel this way. He has to step back and try to put himself in her shoes.*

Well, it's only fun if it's requited. But I think I get you.

I don't know, Nyota. You make it sound like you're doomed to be alone or something. You just have to meet someone who's up to your standards.

I know I'm not doomed to be alone, but... sometimes it feels that way [she confesses, biting back on the sigh that wants to slip from her lips.] I can't even look at someone without thinking about what my parents would say. If they'd like him, I don't want him, and if they wouldn't, I know it'd be putting the poor man through hell.

[She shrugs; she knows she's being ridiculous.] But this isn't about me. This is about how you should go ask Spock on a date.

No, we're done with that part of the conversation. This can be about you now.

*He knows there isn't really a logical solution to this, any kind of equation that can simplify it or make it better, but he's still trying to approach it like a problem to solve.*

I know it's kind of all or nothing with your parents, but they couldn't be happy with someone you liked as long as he had a good job and wouldn't interfere with the hypothetical political career you don't want?

Saval, the possibility of you asking Spock out is more important than me being morose, but... thank you.

[She has to think about his question for a few moments.] I don't know. I doubt anyone's ever going to be good enough for them, aside from a select few I have no interest in.

I think this is one area where they're gonna have to learn to compromise. I know it's easier said than done...

*Which, knowing her parents, means it's more like impossible.*

You can't micromanage love. I mean, it's not like you're going to fall for an idiot. Any guy you date is going to be worthy of you. And hopefully, he'll be the confident type who doesn't mind your parents being difficult. Everyone's got difficult in-laws.

[She lets out a long, slow breath.] I'm not sure either of them knows the meaning of the word. It's amazing they're still married after all this time.

He'd have to be confident and willing to put up with their crap, and I don't know how many guys like that are out there. [Dating her wouldn't be easy, and part of her isn't entirely sure it's worth it. For her or for the hypothetical guy.]

For you? I think a guy would put up with a lot. Don't sell yourself short.

I guess at some point you just kind of have to tell your parents to fuck off. I mean, not literally, but you know. I'm sure as hell not introducing my parents to any of my boyfriends.

[She may not have a boyfriend, but she certainly has one of the best friends a girl could ask for.] Thank you, Saval...

You're right. I just know that even if I stopped talking to them, they'd still find ways to disrupt my life. And if they didn't like the guy I was dating, they'd find ways to disrupt my relationship. They're... a little insane, really.

[For logicandphysick]

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